


The touch of your hand.

by Rose_Ann



Series: The Defenders [1]
Category: Daredevil (TV), Marvel, The Defenders (Marvel TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Foggy Nelson, Hurt Matt Murdock, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Matt Murdock Needs a Hug, Mutual Pining, Past Matt Murdock/Elektra Natchios, Touching, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Sexual Tension, face touching, foggy thinks he's ugly, karen is nice and there's no hate for her in here, why I ask you, why can't they just be together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-12-23 04:02:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11981730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rose_Ann/pseuds/Rose_Ann
Summary: Danny leaves New York with Luke, and the rest of The Defenders have some time to breathe as The Hand searches for them across the country. But the free time - although limited - gives Matt time to dwell on thoughts and desires long buried, and he decides to confront them once and for all.





	The touch of your hand.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, this story happens at the same time as my powerfist fic "Hearts aren't bulletproof". Basically what you need to know is that Danny and Luke are traveling across the country while the other Defenders try to come up with a solid plan to defeat The Hand.  
> This was based on a prompt-like post I saw on tumblr (something along the lines of Foggy doesn't think he's pretty so he doesn't let Matt touch his face). And that got me SO overwhelmed with feels. I think it was made by the user 'no-homo-hansen', but don't quote me on this cause I'm might be wrong (but feel free to correct me in any case)  
> So, I hope you like it and get all the feels too.

The first time it happened Matt wasn't really aware of the reason behind it. He simply just thought that Foggy didn’t like having people’s hands on his face, and he was definitely not the only one. Matt himself found the touch intrusive at times, and if he was being honest he thought most people didn’t like that as well.

Luckily he doesn’t have to rely on touch alone to perceive his surrounds, but he does have to touch someone’s face to actually form a mental picture of them. His senses perform better than what is expected of them when it comes to daily life and his other after-work-hours activities, but he’s still blind when it comes to a lot of things regarding people. Especially the ones he loves. But with time, Matt learned to rely more on how people make him feel other than on how they look. And Foggy makes him feel…

“Matt, you ready?”

Foggy’s voice suddenly echoes very close to his ear, and Matt is confused as to how he managed to space out so much that he didn’t even sense him getting close. _Too close_. Maybe is the lack of sleep that is messing up with his senses, but he’s starting to get toodistracted with whatever has been going on inside his mind. He needs to focus on what’s happening with everyone else — with the city. _Focus, Matt._

“We’re just waiting for you, Matt.”Karen is the one to speak this time.

“Oh, sure, sure. I’m ready.”

Matt tells them as he fumbles awkwardly with his cane. Karen and Foggy share an unsure look because it’s so unlike him to struggle with anything physical it’s borderline annoying. They go silent for a while, studying him a little, but Matt gives no other indication that something is bothering him. But when did he ever?

“You ok?” Karen insistis.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m… fine. I’m fine.”

“Okay… just one more of those and we’ll believe you.” Foggy tells him, trying to lighten the mood a little. “But really, we should go.”

With Danny and Luke out of New York for awhile, The Hand has probably been busy trying to find him on whatever empty city they’ve been hiding on. Last he spoke with Luke they were in Ohio, but it’s been a couple days. Back in New York, they haven’t had any attacks in about four days, so Misty decides it’s safe to send everyone back home. For now. He insists for Karen and Foggy to stay with him at his apartment but they decline — politely, but decline. He can’t help but think that they are still too hurt to fully let him in. Foggy especially. There was something about the way he said Matt’s name now, almost as if it meant less and less every time he said it, that makes him fear that his best friend has finally given up on him.

He was about to suggest for them to get a cab when Foggy guides them to the luxury car that has been waiting for him in front of the police station. It’s only one of the perks of his new fancy position on Jeri’s firm. Matt can’t help but be happy for his friend for finally having a good job at a prestigious law firm like he always wanted.

“Oh well, Mr. Nelson you spoil me.” Karen says, jokingly, when Foggy opens the door for her.

Karen asks them to take her home first, because she still has piles of work to tend to, and they don’t object. He could actually do some time alone with Foggy. Matt couldn’t even remember the last time they spoke for more than 10 minutes about anything. Usually, after that, the Daredevil subject would come and in order not to fight, they would simply stop talking. They drop her off in front of her building and watch her get in. They only leave when Karen sends Foggy a text saying that she got inside safely and that everything is in order with her apartment.

The second time it happened they were both drunk out of their minds walking around town — supposedly going back to their apartments —, but mostly just walked around central park until they got too tired and had to stop and sit town. Foggy mentioned that he might have a fever, because his face was felling like hot lava and Matt laughed. He pointed it ou that was a pleonasm, since lava can’t be cold, but Foggy ignored it. Matt mostly thought the excess warmth was probably due to the amount of alcohol they drank but he still wanted to check just in case. His hand barely touched the skin of Foggy’s forehead and he backed away quickly, like the motion had somehow burned him. There was a moment of awkwardness afterwards, but Foggy dismissed it, saying that Matt’s hand was too cold. This time, Matt knew for a fact he was lying, but he still forced himself to push the thought aside. No good could come for overanalyzinghis interactions with his best friend. If only he had had the courage to ask him about them, maybe things wouldn’t have gotten so complicated. Maybe his feelings wouldn’t have grown caged inside the suitcase where he kept his costume — where he kept all the things he forced himself not to think about.

“Do you like your new job?” Matt asks him once the silence becomes unbearable.

“Can’t complain. The cases are mostly honest, and the money is good too.”

Matt gives him an amused smile. “Mostly honest?”

“There’s a lot of rich guys embezzling money out here, but there’s a lot of good, innocent people who need legal help too.” Matt opens his mouth to say something else, but the car comes to an abrupt stop. “This is you, buddy,” Foggy informs him. “I’ll help you up.”

For a split second Matt doesn’t understand why he’s offering help when he knows about his other abilities, but then he remembers the driver, and that he’s supposed to at least pretend to be a conventional blind person, who sometimes needs help to do things.

“Right. Right.” Foggy get out of the car first and then holds his arm to assist him out of the car.“Hey… I was wondering… there’s this case—one of the ones you gave it to me actually, and I was wondering if you could clear some things up. If it wasn’t too much to ask.”

“I thought you didn’t have the time for it right now.”

“I guess I changed my mind.”

Foggy then thanks the driver and tells him that he can go back to the firm. The whole way up towards Matt’s apartment is spent in silence. Foggy might know that what Matt told him was merely an excuse to have an opportunity to talk, but he doesn’t know what exactly Matt wants to talk about. They do have a lot to catch up on, but still, the idea of staying alone with Matt makes him nervous somehow. Matt smiles as they walk down the hall and he smiles back. Maybe he shouldn’t be that nervous after all. They’ve been friends for nearly a decade and went through a whole lot o shit together — even before Daredevil.

As soon as Matt opens the door, he notices that something isn’t quite right. _She’s there_. He tells Foggy to stay where he is, but he doesn’t explain way. Elektra appears as if born from the shadows and just stares at them.

“Matthew…” she says, eyes fixed on him.

“Elektra… what are you doing here?”

“I came to see you. What else?”

Matt approaches her slowly like one would approach a wild animal without alarming the creature. “We don’t have to do this. Not here.” 

She smiles, wickedly. “But we’re going to.”

With movements that are much quicker than his own, she manages to hit him right in the face and he falls back with the unforeseen impact. Suddenly he remembers that Foggy is there as well, and it gives him the strength to get back up quickly and fight her. Protecting Foggy is all he can think about. He reaches her, just as she was about to get to Foggy, and pulls her back towards him.

Their movements seem choreographed and Foggy can’t tell which one of them is winning. But then Matt seems to get distracted by something he does, and it gives her just enough time to cut him with one of her long knives. Matt falls on the floor with a pained groan, and Foggy watches as she walks slowly towards his friend ready to give the final blow. She’s going to kill him, he's sure of that. Foggy doesn’t know what kind of suicidal instinct takes over his body but next thing he knows he’s trowing himself against her and they both fall on the floor.

Matt hears glass shattering and realizes they probably fell on top of his coffee table. He manages to get up after that and uses his cane to choke her and get her away from Foggy. He gives her a particularly strong punch followed by a kick and she backs away. She’s got blood on her lips but she’s smiling. A very loud police siren echoes near the apartment and Matt gets sidetracked by the sound. When he looks back she’s gone. He walks around the house, but she’s nowhere to be found. He sights in relief, but then Foggy comes to mind. 

“Fuck! Foggy, you all right?” He asks, going to where he is and trying to help him up.

“I’ll live.” He says, still on top of the shattered glass.

It’s only when Foggy starts to get up on his own that Matt can smell the faint blood coming from him. “Don’t—not so fast, Foggy. You got hurt, didn’t you? Where?”

“Gee, you think? I was literally laying on top of broken glass.” 

“Where? Is it serious? I can smell your blood but I can’t…”

“Please don’t talk about the way my blood smells. It’s _really_ creepy. Besides, it’s just a cut on my forehead, It’s not—“Matt’s invading his space within seconds, reaching out for the cut on his forehead but Foggy holds him by the wrists. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“What if it gets infected?” 

“Already on my way to the bathroom to get it cleaned.”

He can smell the peroxide as soon as Foggy opens the bottle and he lets the sound alone guide him trough what his friend is doing. He can hear the cabinet being open, so he’s probably getting some cotton balls, and then the small hisses of pain that he makes every time the solution touches the open wounds. He can’t smell the blood anymore after that, so he figures Foggy has done a decent job in cleaning himself up.

“See, all cleaned up.” He announces and soon after corrects himself, laughing at his own stupidity. “Sorry. I still forget sometimes.”

“No, it’s fine. I’m glad you’re ok. You should sit, though.”

“I could so use some alcohol right now.” He says as he hands Matt some supplies to clean his own wounds and then sits on the other end of the couch.

“You think Karen’s ok?”

He shrugs. “As long as no one tries to kill her.”

“No, not this. I mean…with me.”

“Ah, I see.” Foggy says with an unamused smile. “This I don’t know Matt. She’s still hurt, I think. You basically stopped talking to her.” To us, he thinks but decides to stay quiet about it. He doesn’t need to add fuel when the building is already burning. “Just… give her time. You guys will be fine.”

Matt takes a deep breath and then asks. “What about us?” 

“We’re good.”

Foggy answers in a slip second, but Matt can’t help but notice how his heart wavers as soon as he hears the question. They’re definitely not good. Even the way they behave around each other has changed. Matt used to always ponder over the fact that Foggy had zero respect for personal space. When they live in the dorms back in college, he would usually get to the room only to find Foggy sitting on Matt’s bed instead of his own. He would laugh and say that it was closer to the door, and Matt would lister to his heartbeat carefully, but back then he wasn’t so good at reading others. Almost 10 years passed since then and at lot has changed. The most painful change of them all is how Foggy now sits across from him on the couch — still within arms reach if necessary —, but never by his side. He used to know the warmth of Foggy’s leg pressed against his like the warmth of his own skin, but now the empty space between them has allowed for a chilled breeze to come through the window. It sits painfully on top of his skin and Matt can’t help but feel frozen solid. Life has taken so much from him, and given so little in return. But the one thing he got — the biggest gift life has ever given him — had turned into a bitter memory. Foggy didn’t love him like he used to. 

“H ey, how’s Marci?”

“Marci is Marci.” He shrugs. “Wicked as she is talented and gorgeous.”

“Are you guys still a thing?”

“We… get together sometimes. She calls and I come over. Stuff like that…”

“I thought you guys were like… in love. I thought she liked you.”

“She does…enough.”

“Enough for what?” Matt asks, confused.

There’s a brief silence and Matt listens carefully to Foggy’s heartbeat. It’s slow, almost… content? Matt thinks it sounds more like defeated, but he remains silent and waits for Foggy to speak.

“I don’t know, Matt, _enough_. Enough to… stick around I guess.”

“Is that a jab at me? Because I didn’t?”

Foggy releases a deep breath. “No. I get why you do the shit you do. Someone has to, right? Otherwise, Rome will fall.”

“I think Rome fell a long time ago, Foggy.”

“You know what I mean.” He says, chuckling lightly. “Anyway, I settle for being fifth best a long time ago.”

“Fifth best? What…”

“Yeah, you know… First is New York, and then Daredevil, Electra, Karen and then _moi_.”

_Fifth best_? How can Foggy think that he means so little to Matt that literally everyone on his life would be a priority but him.

“You’re not… you’re…”

“Hey, don’t worry about it, buddy.” He tries to reassure Matt with a gentle tap on the shoulder. “Top 5 is still solid as fuck. I know I can’t compete with the girls. Specially Elektra. I mean… she _literally_ kicked my ass.”

“Look… I know that you think she’s evil. Everyone does. But no one knows her like I do, you know? Things are complicated between us Foggy, we have a lot of history and I just… I know she’s still there, _somewhere_.”

Foggy just shakes his head, feeling completely defeated. “After everything,” _After she tried to kill me_. “You’re still protecting her…”

“No, it’s not like. It’s just… she was good before all this, you know? She _could_ be good…”

“Yeah, totally. I hate it too when an ex comes back from the dead and threatens to destroy the whole city. Such a mood killer, isn’t it?”

Foggy uses a joke-like tone but Matt can sense that there’s anger and frustration underneath. Both Foggy and Karen had to take a lot of shit because of him, and he’s surprised they didn’t have a more serious confront because of it earlier.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to drag you into this again.”

“Your girl dragged me. Not you.”

“I’m serious. You know what I mean.”

“I do. Matthew Murdock is a complicated man and no one understands him but his woman…”

“ _You_ understand me…” Matt whispers, having a hard time fighting an impossible dryness on his throat. 

“I accept your decisions and I respect them. It’s different.”

The third time it happened was shortly after they met Karen, and were starting to become friends with her. Foggy didn’t even try to hide how much he was impressed by Karen’s beauty and it made Matt curious. She sounded so sweet and innocent, and her perfume was fresh and floral-like. They were all sitting on Matt’s apartment one night, just waiting for a particularly persistent rain to stop when Karen asked him about his blindness. She wanted to know how he perceive things, if he could hear or smell better. She wasn’t talking about his _other_ senses —obviously, she was just following the general guideline that when someone lost a sense, the other ones were intensified. He explained to her all the usual things about being blind, and although he couldn’t see her eyes, he could bet that they were glued to him. And it made him feel especial — _wanted_. He mapped her face with his hands and she giggled with the touch. Her skin was smooth and warm, and she had two distinct moles on one side of her face.

Foggy was unusually quiet but them Karen asked him if he could tell the difference between her face and Foggy’s, and Matt said that he actually didn’t know how his best friend looked like. Karen then decided it would be a fun game-like activity to have Matt touch their faces and try to describe their features back to them, to see how close he would get to actually knowing how they looked like. The last thing he heard was Foggy’s rapid steps towards the door and then he was gone. After that, he simply kept his hands to himself.

Karen and him got together not so long after that night. She was good and intelligent and kind — perfect. Her laugh was loud and free and her touch felt nice and _warm_. They were good together and for some time everything seemed perfect. But it didn’t take long for it to fall apart. If not for Daredevil running through rooftops every night and forcing them to be apart for her own safety, for Foggy and how he simply would not leave Matt’s mind every waking moment. He thought about Foggy when he first woke up and he thought about him right before he went to bed. It didn’t matter if he was either sleeping or awake. If he was Daredevil fighting crime, or just a man in a costume sitting outside someone else’s window, desperately trying to hear their voice and know that they were ok/ he was always Foggy’s.

Matt had enough.

“Why you never let me touch your face?” he finally asks once they have settled on the couch again and are eating bad takeout food that has been sitting in the fridge for way too long. Matt can’t even taste anymore, and he’s not sure if it’s because the food is that bad, or he’s just that numb.

“What?” Foggy says with a mouth full of noodles.

“You never let me touch your face. I’m just wondering why.”

“That’s crazy, Matt! You’ve touched my face before.”

Matt can’t help but notice how Foggy’s his voice gets just a bit higher, and he knows this to mean that he’s getting defensive about something. He just doesn’t know what exactly.

“Never.”

“Yes, you have.”

“ _Never._ ” He says, lighter this time as his voice wavers with a mix of exhaustion and bitterness.

“We’ve known each other for almost 10 years, Matt.”

“ _Exactly_. We’ve known each other for almost 10 years, and not once you’ve let me touch your face. I just wanted you to tell me why.”

“I… I don’t know, Matt. I guess I never noticed this before.”

“Don’t lie to me, Foggy. Just now when I tried to touch your face, you flinched away like… like you were afraid of me or something.”

“I’m not afraid of you, Matt. I’m not.” He tries to reassure his friend, but it falls flat once he can’t get his paralyzed body to move towards Matt, and he remains still. Distant.

“So what is it? Do you… are you… are you disgusted by me or something? I—“

“What? Matt—no! That’s not what this is! I would never—I just… it’s nothing you should worry about, that’s all.”

Frustrated, Matt gets up and stands in front of Foggy. “You asked me to be honest with you before and I was. You didn’t like what you heard, but I told you anyway. Even though it changed how you saw me, even though it made you _hate_ me, I still didn’t lie. All I’m asking is for you to do the same for me, Foggy. Be. Honest.”

It’s Foggy’s turn to get up, but he backs away from Matt instead, and paces around back and forth, unsettled.“God, this is stupid. So fucking stupid.” He says, moving towards the window and even further away from Matt. “This is the most… fucked up stupid story right out of a damn chick flick. When the moron sidekick has been pining for the main character for years without… without…”

“You’ve been pining?”

Matt wants to jump close to Foggy, but he forces himself to remain still.

“Never mind. Just… just forget it.”

“No, I won’t just _forget it_. Talk to me, Foggy.”

Foggy shakes his head. “I can’t Matt. I just… can’t.”

Matt approaches him a little, but still gives him enough space so he won’t feel trapped. “Why?”

“You know… I tried Matt. I really did. I took my distance from you, I kept my cool when you were out there playing fucking… Russian Roulette with danger. But no matter what I do you… you just… you creep right under the fucking door and back into my life. _Every time_.”

Matt ends the distance between them and with one precise motion kisses him. And it’s a kiss. Foggy forgets he is supposed to be keeping a safe distance from Matt. He forgets that there’s a dangerous organization — and Matt’s ex is a part of it and just tried to killed him hours ago — ready to destroy the whole city. One of Matt’s hands is on his arm and the other one is on the back of his neck, and Foggy forgets every single thought he’s ever had before that moment. All he knows is that they are alive, and that they are kissing. Some small still-functioning part of his brain tries to warn him about the danger of giving in to his desires, but is hard to care when Matt’s body is pressing against him and there isn’t a single breath separating their bodies. He tugs on the fabric of Matt’s blood covered shirt, and presses them even closer. But them Matt’s hand rests on his jaw and the spell is broken.

“No…” Foggy pants, holding Matt’s hand away from his face.

Matt’s eyes turn sad, and he tries to listen to Foggy’s response. “I want to touch you. Why won’t you let me?”

He can feel Foggy shaking his head back and forth, and he tries to touch him again to reassure him, but Foggy leaves their little bubble and walks towards the couch.

“It’s just…if you touch my face… you’ll know…”

“I’ll know what? I don’t understand.”

“You’ll know how I look like. You’ll know… I’m _ugly_.”

“You’re not ugly, Foggy. You’re beautiful.”

Foggy lets out a pained chuckle. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. You can’t even see me.” 

“I don’t have to.” He starts. “I _know_ you’re beautiful. I just want a chance to show you how much. Please.”

Foggy takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. Matt walks towards him slowly, and lets his hands rest on his friend’s jawline. The skin underneath is soft and baby-like. Foggy doesn’t have very defined jaw bones, which Matt thinks it might give him boyish features. He smiles, trying to imagine the reaction of people in court when they arrive to defend a case two lawyers, one blind and other who maybe looks young enough to still be in law school. The tip of Matt’s fingers feel the gentle prick of his stubble and he smiles again, this time imagining that Foggy must have less of a baby face with a full beard. “Is your beard blond too?” he asks, and Foggy simply nods. His hands travel up to the tip of Foggy’s noise and then to his brow bone. He leaves the best for last and stars tracing his friend’s lips with his thumb. He closes his eyes intently when he feels Foggy’s warm breath against his fingers. “I knew you’d have lips like these.”

“Like what?” Foggy asks, trembling.

“Perfect for kissing…” _And for other things too._

It’s just when he decides to run his hands trough Foggy’s hair that he notices something he hadn’t before. “You cut your hair. I liked it long.”

“You’ve never even seen it long.” Foggy argues.

“It felt good to touch. _Soft_. But it still does.”

“It’ll grow.”

Matt smiles. “I can’t wait.”

They kiss again, slower this time, taking the time to recognize each other’s mouths and to adjust to a different kissing style. The stubble on Foggy’s chin drags against Matt’s skin momentarily numbing the area, and he wants nothing but to feel it over and over again. He’s been fighting this feeling for so long that it almost feels like a dream to have Foggy like this in front of him. They’ve been trough so much together, and not even once — not even when he betrayed Foggy with his secret — his friend turned his back on him. Foggy had always been the one to stay by his side. _For better or worse_ , like he said he would.

“I love you.” He whispers, like is a forbidden word. Like it has no space on his life, but he craves it anyway. “And not as just friends. I love you like… like I _only_ love _you_. And I know that the time couldn’t be worse but I’m… terrified Foggy. I’m terrified that we’ve run out of time. If I die fighting The Hand at least I—“

Foggy is the one to interrupt him this time. He hates it when Matt acts like his life is worth nothing, and like it wouldn’t completely destroy Foggy to see him go. 

“Don’t say that! Don’t you ever say that again!”

Matt is surprised by the urgency and ferociousness of Foggy’s kisses, but not displeased. He opens his mouth for the invasion and Foggy deepens the kiss even more. Their tongues fight for dominance back and forth, and he never imagined his friend to be so aggressive like this, but he thinks that maybe it’s what he needs at the moment, so Matt will give him that. Foggy press them again the wall, rubbing their lengths against each other, sending a shivering trill down their spines. They’re both hard and aching for more contact. Matt has one fist holding Foggy’s hair when he feels something yet touching his face. He tries to stop the kiss, but Foggy doesn’t let him. It’s only then he notices that Foggy is crying.

“Foggy…” Matt whines, gently brushing the tears way. 

“I don’t want to lose you, Matt. I don’t know if I can take it.”

“You won’t, Foggy. I’m yours, always.” He reassures Foggy, between kisses.

Foggy shakes his head, fighting the tears, but losing the battle.“You’re Daredevil. You belong to New York.”

Daredevil might be the man without fear, but Matthew Murdock is not. Matt is the blind lawyer who has more fears than scars over his body. The strongest of them all being loosing his best friend.

“I’m Matthew Murdock, and I belong to _you,_ Franklin Nelson _,_ and no one else.”

“I love you…”

Matt unbuttons Foggy’s shirt slowly as he kisses an invisible trail down his pale chest. It tickles Foggy at first, and he laughs. Matt gets rid of his own clothes as quickly and unceremoniously as he can. His full erection bobs up and down, and he hears Foggy’s breath get caught in his throat. “Like what you see?” he asks, with a smug smile.

“You have no idea how much.”

Matt palms Foggy’s erection trough his pants and his grin gets even wider. “I think I have a pretty _solid_ idea.”

The metallic sound of Foggy’s belt buckle echoes loudly through the quiet room and both men fully realize what they’re about to do. Matt’s never even kissed another man before, let alone done something else. And if Foggy’s rapid heartbeat serves as any indication, Matt’s not alone on this. He is just as quick to remove Foggy’s pants and is presently surprised to find out that he’s gone commando.

“No underwear? What were your exact intentions by coming here like this Mr. Nelson?”

“The worst ones possible, Mr. Murdock. The best ones too.”

Matt strokes his own erection as he swallows Foggy’s with one agonizing slow motion and the excitement is enough to almost send Matt over the edge.Foggy takes salty but it isn’t at all unpleasant. He actually quite likes it.

“Fuck… Matt…” 

Matt’s head goes up and down and the noises Foggy makes are the best thing he’s ever heard in his life. He could suck him all day if it got Foggy to moan his name like that. Like Matt’s mouth on him was the only thing he wanted and Matt himself was the only one he needed. He intensifies his movements and experiments with swallowing Foggy’s length more and more each time he descents. He chokes a little, but finally manages to have Foggy fully in his mouth, and realizes that very few things in his life had ever felt this right.

Foggy’s breath starts to betray him, and Matt knows he’s getting close.

“Matt I… you should… I can’t…” His pleasure comes in waves and Matt swallows it completely until Foggy is reduced to a puddle of shivers and moans. “Fuck…” 

Matt gets up on his knees and starts stroking himself lazily. He can hear Foggy’s heartbeat settling to a slower speed, but his own is just getting faster.“I’ve never done this before.” He tells Foggy, panting lightly. “I don’t know which—“

“Fuck me.” Foggy tells him bluntly, and it almost sounds as if he’s begging for it. “I want you to fuck me. I need it.”

Mat nods and moves back up Foggy again. “It might hurt a little in the beginning, but—“

“I know.”

There’s a hint of predatory curiosity in Matt’s eyes, and it sends shivers down Foggy’s spine.

“You… _know_?”

“I’ve done this before,” He says, blushing ferociously. “Not… sex with another guy, just… I…”

“You fingered yourself before…” Matt points out with a smug smile, and Foggy’s heartbeat tells him that he’s right. “And what did you think about while you were doing it?”

“Just…stuff…”

“Stuff? You can do better than this Foggy.”

“I… just… you. I thought about you. _Fantasized_ about you.”

Matt circles Foggy’s ass with one finger, gently teasing at the entrance to see his response. “And what I was doing to you on those fantasies?”

“You were… fucking me. Hard. Violent even.”

Matt gets the lube from his nightstand and skirts some on his hand. “And where was that?”

“In the roof… out in the open.”

“The roof?” Foggy nods. “Was it me… or Daredevil?” he asks, with one digit almost fully inside Foggy.

“No, no Daredevil.” Foggy tells him, welcoming the invasion and panting for more. His mouth hangs open and Matt is quick to steal a forceful kiss. “It was _you_ , Matt Murdock.”

“Good…”

Matt presses a second finger in and Foggy flinches a little. He gives the blond a concerned look.

“I only got one in.” Foggy confesses.

“Put you ass up for me, will you?” Matt asks him, and Foggy’s whole body is red from embarrassment, but he complies. “Good boy.” He presses the second finger again and finds some resistance at first, but when he lightly smacks Foggy’s ass the resistance is gone. Matt fingers him slowly as he stokes Foggy’s length and it doesn’t take long until he’s hard again. He experiments with stronger motions and feels the other man shivering under his touch. “Am I hurting you?”

“No, it’s… it’s good. It feels really good.”

Suddenly Matt’s fingers are gone, and he’s about to whine when he feels a hot breath against his cheeks. There’s no warning when Matt runs his tongue over his opening and just licks over and over again. He briefly wonders if this is how Marci feels when he licks her, and how can she even manage to bark orders back at him while feeling such a strong pleasure. He’s having a hard time thinking, let alone saying anything. Matt pushes his tongue inside, and It takes all his strength not to come for the second time. And Matt hadn’t even penetrated him yet. Foggy doesn’t know if he can take so much pleasure at once.

He alternates between rimming at Foggy’s opening and mouthing at the tender flesh of his ass. “You’ve got the most amazing ass, you know that? So perfect…”

Matt says, but Foggy is way past forming any coherent response so he just makes whatever noise comes out of his mouth and continues to enjoy the moment. He feels another gently slap, and then Matt’s erection is teasing his entrance. Not really pushing but just… there. His body feels like it has caught on fire, and at the same time he’s breaking out in a cold sweat.

“Matt, please… I can’t take it anymore. Please…” 

“Tell me what you want.”

“I want you inside of me. I need you inside of me.”

Foggy was never one to be religious — certainly not like Matt —, but when he finally enters him, Foggy feels as if a divine entity had somehow taken over his body. Matt is thunder and lightening, and his touch shatters him into a thousand pieces and puts him back together again — makes him whole in every sense of the word.Matt’s thrusts start gentle — chaste almost — but when his erection finds its way towards Foggy’s sweet spot and he moans his lover’s name like a prayer, he can’t control himself anymore.Matt moves hard and fast just like Foggy fantasized he would, and he gets a even bigger reaction this time. One of his hands holds Foggy’s hair firmly as the other strokes his erection firmly. 

“Matt… Matty… please…” Foggy begs, but he doesn’t know what for exactly.

“You know… this is the first time I’ve ever wished I could see again.” He whispers indecently on Foggy’s ear. “I would give _anything_ to see your face while I fuck you.”

And that does it. Foggy comes all over the sheets with a harsh breath and a muffled scream. His throat is dry from all the moans and his body sakesviolently with the aftershocks of his release. Matt bites down his earlobe and he’s coming too, whispering sweet nothings of Foggy’s ear over and over again. They’re panting and tired and their bodies are covered with sweat, but they feel satisfied. Finally they’ve been able to experience something that both had been dreaming about, but neither knew what do to to get it. But now they do.

Matt laughs enjoying their afterglow, with Foggy’s head resting on his chest and he inhales deeply, drowning on his lover’s scent. And it’s the best thing he’s ever smelled before.

“I didn’t know good catholic boys behaved like that behind closed doors.”Foggy mocks him, smiling.

“We love each other, Foggy. Love is sacred to God.” He answers, leaving chaste kisses behind his ear.

“So… The Lord is ok with all the butt-licking and the cock-sucking?” Foggy asks him, eyebrow raised, wanting to get a humorous response out of him.

“If there’s love, God is there.” He states, matter-of-factly.

Foggy chuckles. “Hm, kinky… but I think just the two of us is enough.”

“It’s all I’ve ever wanted.” Matt confesses, and Foggy turns around to look at him. They kiss slow and tender, and Matt can’t even believe how lucky he is. “I love you, Foggy.”

“I love you.”

They remain in bed, and Matt is pleased to find out that Foggy is an incurable cuddler. He traces invisible patterns up and down Foggy’s arm and listens as he talks about his job and all the mostly-honest clients they represent. It doesn’t take long and Foggy starts falling asleep and Matt lets him. It’s been too long since he was able to hear Foggy’s calm and reassuring breath when he sleeps, and Matts wants to make up for the lost time.

Absentmindedly he remembered being in the confessionary, shortly after he met Foggy, ready to name his sins to Father Fantom. ‘It’s been so long before my last confession’, he had said to begin with, and Father Fantom listened. He told him about not having patience with others when they didn’t know how to deal with his disability at first, and it made him think about Foggy and how he had handled things so naturally. How he had — somehow — treated him just as he would anyone else, but at the same time like he was special. _Unique_.In the midst of confessing his sins, Matt smiled and it must have puzzled Father Fandom because he felt the need to ask what had made Matt give such a genuine and loving smile. ‘I've met someone.’ He simply said, and that was when he knew he had fallen in love with Foggy.

Now, nearly ten years and an infinite amount of blood and tears later, he can’t find it in him to regret the journey that brought him to where he’s standing. It was a tortuous journey, and he felt hopeless and lost at times, but now he’s holding Foggy’s rested body against his and nothing has ever felt better or purer. He doesn’t know what will happen when the sun rises, and if they’ll be able to win the fight against The Hand. All he does know — and care — is that he’s lying naked by Foggy’s side, and for once, he’s right here he’s supposed to be. 

Matt closes his eyes, and is finally able to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> come chat with on tumblr. 
> 
> https://theindigorose.tumblr.com/  
> <3


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